Good morning! Thank you for asking! I am feeling very well now that I am out of the first trimester. I experienced a lot of fatigue and brain fog earlier in my pregnancy and it was difficult to accept that I simply had a much more limited capacity than I was used to and that no particular "productivity hack" or "grinding through" was going to change that.
Although this was in no way the same as living with chronic illness, I really appreciated reading the reflections of my writer friends Alyssa Graybeal and Sophie Strand regarding aspects of living chronic illness during this time. (They both have books coming out this year, please look them up!)
I've been meaning to reply to your newsletter but will take this opportunity instead to say Congratulations! I hope your visit to the storage unit was easy? And a question for you--how has your writing practice shifted, if at all, since you moved? Since you became pregnant? Have you noticed any subtle differences?
So, the storage unit ended up fine -- I decided to tell them in advance when confirming the time over text that "fyi I sort of don't look like a lot of pregnant people because I am trans, but a baby bump is a baby bump."
My contact at the storage place replied, "We are not here to judge. See you soon." I was relieved and was glad that I had mentioned it prior to showing up in person! When I got there, she was very nice and nothing was at all weird. She waited with me while my stuff was getting moved and we had a nice conversation. After reading my essay, my parents, who are local, came out to support me and make sure nothing negative happened but everything went so smoothly that it was over by the time they arrived! I am so grateful that this worked out the way that it did and it is a reminder to me that even though it's important to be prudent, sometimes things can work out okay or better than expected.
My writing practice lately is a constant push-pull of structure and flexibility. I try to write every morning, but I write while I'm still in bed because why not make it feel easy and luxurious? If I feel tired or unfocused (which is more common than it used to be), I try to pay attention to what feels like "enough" for that day. At the same time, I feel a lot of urgency to finish more work before the baby comes -- and having this weekly space for essays is a big part of that, I don't think I'd be able to turn out an essay every week if I didn't know that folks were expecting a Saturday essay. So I've been trying to get the word out more about this newsletter since having readers is the best accountability for me.
The work of Jessica Abel, including her book, Growing Gills, has helped me to prioritize my writing, not take on too many side projects related to my writing (this is crucial!) and stay focused on moving toward my main writing goal for now, which is writing these essays and putting them out in the world.
So I guess the short answer is that my pregnancy has helped me to focus in on one goal with my writing -- finishing more essays before the baby comes -- even though I have to be a little slower and gentler sometimes with my daily writing practice.
Yes! Why not write in bed! I agree with this sentiment wholebodily! I'll have to check out Growing Gills. I definitely have a "side project" problem. :)
Oh, I love that, "wholebodily"--thank you for introducing me to this word.
In Growing Gills, one of the exercises is to write out all of the potential projects bouncing around your head (Jessica Abel calls them "idea debt") and then pick ONE to focus in on for the next 6 weeks. She has this special way that you can then fold up the piece of paper with the rest of the projects into a cute shape and gently sort of say a temporary farewell to working on the other ideas on the list. (I did not fold the cute shape, but I did choose one project and told the others I'd be back to consider them later.) I honestly don't think of myself as struggling with having too many side projects, so I was shocked when I easily filled a sheet of paper with ideas I'd been thinking about!
I was worried too! My contact at the storage unit texted me to let me know that she had arranged moving help for me and to confirm the time. I confirmed the time and wrote, "fyi I sort of don't look like a lot of pregnant people because I am trans, but a baby bump is a baby bump." She wrote back "We are not here to judge. See you soon." In person, everything went so smoothly and nothing was weird at all. She waited with me while the movers from the storage place transferred my stuff. My parents, who are local, wanted to meet me there to make sure it would be okay, but by the time they arrived, everything was done! I am so grateful that things worked out as well as they did.
That's fantastic! I am so glad to hear it all went just fine. But you were smart to be concerned and prepared, not everyone is as nonjudgmental as she is. Phew! One more thing taken care of!
Oh, this is such a hard question! But one I should probably have been ready for! Okay!
I really admire the author Paul Monette, who died of AIDS in 1995. He wrote fiction and nonfiction (and some poetry) celebrating the gay community and unflinchingly portraying the impacts of the AIDS crisis in the 1980s and 1990s. I just really love him and his work, for some reasons that are easy enough to articulate and some that are less so.
Beyond that, it is way too stressful to choose a single set of favorite authors, but I have recently enjoyed fiction by Morgan Jerkins, Ryka Aoki, and Ariel Gore. Recent nonfiction reading has included work by adrienne maree brown, Laraine Herring, Diana Goetsch, and Neema Avashia.
I love Sophie Strand's Substack newsletter and I'm eagerly awaiting the release of her book The Flowering Wand: Rewilding the Sacred Masculine. Other soon-to-be released books I'm looking forward to are Heretic: A Memoir by Jeanna Kadlec and Graft, a short story collection by Margaret Elysia Garcia.
Thank you! Now I get to add all these wonderful authors to my Goodreads 'want to read' list! This also very much makes me want to follow you on Goodreads! Are you on there??
I have a Goodreads account from years ago, but I can't seem to quite get into it. I add too many books to my to-read list and feel overwhelmed, then I forget about them and read other books that I forget to put in! Do you like it? Should I give it another try?
I mostly use it for the friends function. Whenever I'm ready for a new book (or several new books to add to my library's waitlist), I'll see what my friends have recently read and rated well. For me, I use it less of a future bookshelf (I use my Libby account for that) and more as a good place to browse for inspiration. But yes! I do like it! I also use it to track how many books I've read that calendar year.
What has surprised you most about the journey of pregnancy so far? Wishing you a healthy and easeful progression through this emotional and physical creating and unfurling 💕
My pregnancy feels both vastly more multifaceted--kaleidoscopic, almost--and more ordinary-daily than I expected.
I feel like I took in so many narratives of pregnancy and had imagined all sorts of things, and my actual life is not at all like any of that. My feelings about my pregnancy and my overall emotional landscape are much more rich and complicated than I thought they would be--I'm happy for this and appreciate the texture. But at the same time, I think I expected that I would constantly feel super different physically and mentally, like almost unrecognizable to myself, and I'm glad to notice that I still mostly feel "like me"--whatever that means.
I really think this is a very rich and interesting question! Curious what others' experiences have been.
I have a little less focus and energy but much more motivation to get as much writing done as possible before the baby comes! I have been trying to get the word out more about this newsletter, because knowing that I have readers waiting to see each Saturday's essay really does help me to stay focused and try to turn out my best work each week.
Good morning, Finn! How are you feeling? Any morning sickness?
Good morning! Thank you for asking! I am feeling very well now that I am out of the first trimester. I experienced a lot of fatigue and brain fog earlier in my pregnancy and it was difficult to accept that I simply had a much more limited capacity than I was used to and that no particular "productivity hack" or "grinding through" was going to change that.
Although this was in no way the same as living with chronic illness, I really appreciated reading the reflections of my writer friends Alyssa Graybeal and Sophie Strand regarding aspects of living chronic illness during this time. (They both have books coming out this year, please look them up!)
My midwife used to say "your body prepares you" for after the baby comes! Knowing one's limits and honoring the body's needs is so important.
Thanks for this! I have been learning so many new things about listening to my body and trusting my body's needs since I became pregnant.
I've been meaning to reply to your newsletter but will take this opportunity instead to say Congratulations! I hope your visit to the storage unit was easy? And a question for you--how has your writing practice shifted, if at all, since you moved? Since you became pregnant? Have you noticed any subtle differences?
Thanks so much for asking!
So, the storage unit ended up fine -- I decided to tell them in advance when confirming the time over text that "fyi I sort of don't look like a lot of pregnant people because I am trans, but a baby bump is a baby bump."
My contact at the storage place replied, "We are not here to judge. See you soon." I was relieved and was glad that I had mentioned it prior to showing up in person! When I got there, she was very nice and nothing was at all weird. She waited with me while my stuff was getting moved and we had a nice conversation. After reading my essay, my parents, who are local, came out to support me and make sure nothing negative happened but everything went so smoothly that it was over by the time they arrived! I am so grateful that this worked out the way that it did and it is a reminder to me that even though it's important to be prudent, sometimes things can work out okay or better than expected.
My writing practice lately is a constant push-pull of structure and flexibility. I try to write every morning, but I write while I'm still in bed because why not make it feel easy and luxurious? If I feel tired or unfocused (which is more common than it used to be), I try to pay attention to what feels like "enough" for that day. At the same time, I feel a lot of urgency to finish more work before the baby comes -- and having this weekly space for essays is a big part of that, I don't think I'd be able to turn out an essay every week if I didn't know that folks were expecting a Saturday essay. So I've been trying to get the word out more about this newsletter since having readers is the best accountability for me.
The work of Jessica Abel, including her book, Growing Gills, has helped me to prioritize my writing, not take on too many side projects related to my writing (this is crucial!) and stay focused on moving toward my main writing goal for now, which is writing these essays and putting them out in the world.
So I guess the short answer is that my pregnancy has helped me to focus in on one goal with my writing -- finishing more essays before the baby comes -- even though I have to be a little slower and gentler sometimes with my daily writing practice.
Yes! Why not write in bed! I agree with this sentiment wholebodily! I'll have to check out Growing Gills. I definitely have a "side project" problem. :)
Oh, I love that, "wholebodily"--thank you for introducing me to this word.
In Growing Gills, one of the exercises is to write out all of the potential projects bouncing around your head (Jessica Abel calls them "idea debt") and then pick ONE to focus in on for the next 6 weeks. She has this special way that you can then fold up the piece of paper with the rest of the projects into a cute shape and gently sort of say a temporary farewell to working on the other ideas on the list. (I did not fold the cute shape, but I did choose one project and told the others I'd be back to consider them later.) I honestly don't think of myself as struggling with having too many side projects, so I was shocked when I easily filled a sheet of paper with ideas I'd been thinking about!
Have you moved the stuff out of your storage unit yet? How did that go? I was worried about you.
I was worried too! My contact at the storage unit texted me to let me know that she had arranged moving help for me and to confirm the time. I confirmed the time and wrote, "fyi I sort of don't look like a lot of pregnant people because I am trans, but a baby bump is a baby bump." She wrote back "We are not here to judge. See you soon." In person, everything went so smoothly and nothing was weird at all. She waited with me while the movers from the storage place transferred my stuff. My parents, who are local, wanted to meet me there to make sure it would be okay, but by the time they arrived, everything was done! I am so grateful that things worked out as well as they did.
That's fantastic! I am so glad to hear it all went just fine. But you were smart to be concerned and prepared, not everyone is as nonjudgmental as she is. Phew! One more thing taken care of!
Who are some of your favorite authors? Both fiction and non fiction!
Oh, this is such a hard question! But one I should probably have been ready for! Okay!
I really admire the author Paul Monette, who died of AIDS in 1995. He wrote fiction and nonfiction (and some poetry) celebrating the gay community and unflinchingly portraying the impacts of the AIDS crisis in the 1980s and 1990s. I just really love him and his work, for some reasons that are easy enough to articulate and some that are less so.
Beyond that, it is way too stressful to choose a single set of favorite authors, but I have recently enjoyed fiction by Morgan Jerkins, Ryka Aoki, and Ariel Gore. Recent nonfiction reading has included work by adrienne maree brown, Laraine Herring, Diana Goetsch, and Neema Avashia.
I love Sophie Strand's Substack newsletter and I'm eagerly awaiting the release of her book The Flowering Wand: Rewilding the Sacred Masculine. Other soon-to-be released books I'm looking forward to are Heretic: A Memoir by Jeanna Kadlec and Graft, a short story collection by Margaret Elysia Garcia.
Thank you! Now I get to add all these wonderful authors to my Goodreads 'want to read' list! This also very much makes me want to follow you on Goodreads! Are you on there??
I have a Goodreads account from years ago, but I can't seem to quite get into it. I add too many books to my to-read list and feel overwhelmed, then I forget about them and read other books that I forget to put in! Do you like it? Should I give it another try?
I mostly use it for the friends function. Whenever I'm ready for a new book (or several new books to add to my library's waitlist), I'll see what my friends have recently read and rated well. For me, I use it less of a future bookshelf (I use my Libby account for that) and more as a good place to browse for inspiration. But yes! I do like it! I also use it to track how many books I've read that calendar year.
Thanks, I might try it again! I will let you know!
What has surprised you most about the journey of pregnancy so far? Wishing you a healthy and easeful progression through this emotional and physical creating and unfurling 💕
What an interesting question, thank you!
My pregnancy feels both vastly more multifaceted--kaleidoscopic, almost--and more ordinary-daily than I expected.
I feel like I took in so many narratives of pregnancy and had imagined all sorts of things, and my actual life is not at all like any of that. My feelings about my pregnancy and my overall emotional landscape are much more rich and complicated than I thought they would be--I'm happy for this and appreciate the texture. But at the same time, I think I expected that I would constantly feel super different physically and mentally, like almost unrecognizable to myself, and I'm glad to notice that I still mostly feel "like me"--whatever that means.
I really think this is a very rich and interesting question! Curious what others' experiences have been.
How is your writing going? Are all of the pregnancy hormones helping or getting in the way?
I have a little less focus and energy but much more motivation to get as much writing done as possible before the baby comes! I have been trying to get the word out more about this newsletter, because knowing that I have readers waiting to see each Saturday's essay really does help me to stay focused and try to turn out my best work each week.